Monday, November 2, 2009

Getting back to feeling mom-a-licious

I haven’t posted in a couple of days because, well, do you ever have those days (or weeks) when you feel like you’re doing a lot…but not doing anything very well? That’s the rut I have found myself in lately. Readership of this blog keeps shooting up, but I am making no income off it, so it’s basically a community service effort. Totally fine in terms of generosity, but not ok if I’m snapping at my kids because they’re interrupting me as I type a recipe. My cooking lesson clients are having these a-ha moments (which are wonderfully satisfying to be a part of), but as H1N1 rips through our schools, I cannot sleep the nights before my classes wondering if my children will be well the next morning when I am scheduled to teach? What will happen to all of those groceries I asked them to buy, and how annoyed will they be with me having to cancel last minute? Then there’s the blog, which I’ll stay home from working out to write entries for since I’m too tired to do so at night. And when I don’t workout I get more tired…and it’s this vicious cycle. The only thing I am doing consistently well is getting healthy meals on the table, ones that both my children will eat and that my husband and I enjoy. This Fall is my first time having both kids in school, which is blissful, but I am still not in my groove trying to figure out how much to “work” and how much to “play”. And so, 10 pounds later—yes, 10 pounds—I have decided to take a step back and try to regroup. I think I jumped the gun, trying to be all things to all people during my 9 hours of preschool time a week! The first thing I let go was me. It is time for me to get back to feeling a little more mom-a-licious. Posts may be a little less frequent, and cooking lessons may be harder to come by until I feel like I am back in balance. But for now, when my children ask me to come sit by the fire and read with them, or do a puzzle, or rake leaves into their mini wheelbarrow, I want to be wholly there and not thinking about all of the things on my Full Plate. Or, thinking a little less about it, for now.

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